Jacob Scott Todd turns ONE!!!

Today is the big day, Jake's first birthday! I just spent the day with my little man, and he is a precious, adorable, hilarious, inquisitive, smart, wonderful little character, whom I love with all my heart. Spending the day with him meant everything to me, and I want to thank Andrea for allowing to share this day with them, as well as my job!

Jake has blossomed from a baby, into a toddler! When the heck did that happen? I noticed it at his birthday party. He was interested and aware of everything that was going on, just loving all the "firsts" that were happening. He loved his presents, and would make that precious "O" face...his look of surprise. He played with everything, and everyone, and smiled, laughed and ate! Boy can that kid eat! He had his cake, he had his spaghetti....he fed himself and he just enjoyed his day! I know I enjoyed every minute of that party, as we watched the little one year old in all of his amazingness!

I guess I just want to say that Jacob has come into my life and as I predicted on the blog I wrote just one year ago...he has changed my life. Being a grandmother is amazing...ten times better than I ever imagined. Being a parent is hard! So much responsibility, so many decisions to make, mistakes, accomplishments...oh so much stuff! Grandparenthood...well it's a whole other ball game. It's kisses, and loveys, and hugs, and treats and presents and joy and laughter. It's all the best parts of being a parent. I totally am loving it and feel blessed to have this little man in my life. He is everything to me.

As his personality changes, I look forward to his tying shoes, and riding bikes, kindergarten and beyond. I look forward to hearing him say "Grandma" for the first time, and running up to me, arms spread, happy to see me! I look forward to his walking, then running, then sports and accomplishments. His first crush, first movie, first date. So much to look forward to, but I think for now...I'll just enjoy his being ONE!

Happy Birthday, Jake! Grandma loves you VERY MUCH!!!!!

October

I can almost hear the groans..."Here she goes again!"

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I know you know. You know my family is very into raising some bucks, and walking for the cure. I think that a mammogram is essential to a woman's good health and CAN save your life. Regardless of the BS you hear in the media, on the internet or from your friends.

The other day, a woman told me she hadn't had a mammogram in 10 years. She was about my age. We talked, and I gave her my mini spiel. Mini because I don't have a lot of time...she needs to get into a room. So I have about as long as it takes for my blood pressure machine to do it's thing. "It can save your life", I say. "Early detection is the key to survival." She answers, "Yes, but there are false positives!" False positives? False positive breast cancer? I said, "Maybe there are times that something may looks not quite right, and the radiologist feels that it needs further investigation. Sometimes, it turns out to be nothing, and so if this is what you consider a false positive, then it's what you root for, what you hope for. Do they tell you it's cancer when it's not? No. Never. If they tell you it's cancer...it's cancer." She looked at me as if I was crazy, but with doubt, as if maybe, all these years, she had misunderstood. My blood pressure machine beeped, and off we went to the room. I filled out a form for the doctor to finish the job of convincing her to make an appointment. She left with it in hand, and I hope that, in the end, she follows through.

I feel definitely that most women still fear the mammogram. Women are notorious for not being proactive in their own healthcare, Moi included. Not knowing is sometimes better. There's a million excuses. Bad experience with a mammographer. I get that. I had that last time, and seriously, am reluctant to go back. But it's October! I'm a hypocrite if I don't get it scheduled. A few of my own excuses? I don't have a doctor. I can't get off work. I HATE getting my boobs squished into oblivion, and I FEAR being called back for additional views. Because that is soooo scary for me. So, yes, I know what the above lady is speaking of...false positives. It scares you to death. Last time I had a false positve...I cried the entire time I was getting it done, and as I waited in the dressing room for them to tell me they had a clearer view, I could go.

I remember when my mom was diagnosed. I remember her going for the biopsy...then the mastectomy the same minute. Can you freaking imagine going into the surgery, waking up and your breast is gone? I can't. There was no options for her. Radical mastectomy...then radiation, then chemo. Then re-occurrence. Then it metastasized. Gallbladder. Liver. Bones. Chest Wall...then Brain. From diagnosis until she went to heaven was 1.5 years. I wanted her to get better so bad. I wanted her to be okay. I wanted her to be a survivor...but...it wasn't meant to be. It was detected too late. My mom died. She never got to see me or my sister get married. She never got to meet her seven grandchildren. Her eight great grandchildren. She never got to baby-sit or applaud their accomplishments. Her life was cut short. By breast cancer. By being unaware.

Ignorance is not bliss. It's murder.


Self breast exams. Mammograms. Yearly gyno checks, so a doctor can lay hands on your breasts. Just do it.