Things aren't always as bad as you think they are.
I'm talking about Bill's Parkinson's. He doesn't realize how much it affects me, or maybe he does, I don't know, but it is something we don't talk about too much. It's just there. Like my cousin put it, it's the white elephant in the room.
Bill's symptoms were very mild at first. Or so we thought, until his true symptoms were pointed out to us. But his new med has made most of his symptoms better. His mind is a little clearer, his gait more even, it doesn't hurt when he writes anymore, and his right arm isn't quite as stiff. All good news. But his tremor? Worse. The only thing at this point that tremors is his right arm. It was just a faint tremor at first, barely noticeable. But now, it's more pronounced, more constant, and well, that white elephant. It's unnerving to me. I try not to notice how intense it sometimes is, or how it feels when he has his arm around me. I try not to look at the big picture, and just try to take it a day at a time. Bill is still Bill, and he's doing very well. I concentrate on that.
Today, we went out to dinner, and I noticed the lady at the table next to us had Parkinsons. At first, it was just her arm, like Bill. But as time went on, I noticed her tremors never stopped, and it was not one arm, but two. Later on, I noticed that both her legs also had tremors. Her body never seemed to be at rest. Her face had the 'mask' that Parkinson sufferers sometimes wear. But what was the most disturbing to me, was when she stood up. The tremors in her legs didn't stop. She was standing there looking for something, just shaking all over. It stopped when she started walking, which was good, but I still felt very bad for her. She was probably in her 60's somewhere, mid at the most. But she looked older.
It definitely made me take a step back and count our blessings. Yes, Bill has Parkinson's. Yes, it was devastating when we found out, but we've learned to deal. We've learned a lot. Today, I learned that it could be so much worse, and I reach up and thank God that for now, it's only a tremor. Bill still smiles...he still laughs, he works, plays on the floor with Jake, and our life has not really changed that much. This is all very, very good.
I will continue to take things one day at a time, and with God's help, look for the positive in everything we do. You know the old saying, 'Behind every cloud there is a silver lining'? There's a lot to be said about that silver lining.
http://www.pdf.org/en/pd_comm_news/release/pr_1302215208
